you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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