Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
