I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
