How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
