dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
