WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
