I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
