so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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