I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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