Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
