I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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