guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
