the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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