You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
