i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
