Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
