Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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