Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
