I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
