Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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