Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
