Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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