I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
