if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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