I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
