I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
