I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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