I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
