Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
