whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
