Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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