i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
