dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We need to get me chipped asap
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