You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
