You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
