I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
