I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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