can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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