she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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