I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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