You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
