You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
