I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
