can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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