so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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