every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
