eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
