why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
