you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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