Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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