i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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